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This is the Uniting Church in Alstonville, NSW Australia in 2007 

THE NIGHT I DIED

August is still in the winter months in the New England Region of NSW Australia. And as the name implies, it's cold.

Especially when you are more used to the warm balmy climate of the Tropical Northern regions of Australia. But I came south for the birth of my second child because my Husband was in the Australian Defence force and was due to go on an Air Traffic Control course. Rather than leaving me on my own or my Mother having to come North to look after my first born while I was in Hospital, it was decided it would be better for all if I went South.

Besides, August on the property was always a busy time anyway so by me coming south, Mum was able to look after everyone.

In hindsight, this decision probably saved my life.

I went into labour early on the Saturday night of September 29th, 1976. My Husband was with me as he had received 'special' leave from the R.A.A.F to be with me for the birth. This early onset of labour was worrying because we were 26 miles out on a rough dirt road from the nearest hospital. The Doctor said for me to come in as soon as possible. In the bush, the country Doctors are called out at inconvenient times.

I was hospitalised on the Saturday night but by Monday morning, nothing had eventuated. So the long day started early. I was 'brought on' and the labour pains intensified. At 2PM they broke my waters and the first thing I saw of my child was a clump of jet black hair where the forceps had torn a piece accidentally from her head. At this stage, no one knew that she was stuck.

By 6PM that night, things were pretty desperate. An emergency Caesar was decided upon because by now, we knew well and truly that she was coming shoulder first and was getting nowhere fast.

All the emergency Theatre staff were called in. Some lived in town and others lived on surrounding properties.  It was a cold and very frosty night but I was pretty unaware of any of this at this time because they had finally given me a pain killer.

I was wheeled into the theatre and prepped. The Anaesthetist started administering the anaesthetic and I tried to tell him I couldn't breathe. He paid no attention to me. Then they started cutting me and I tried to tell them that I wasn't under yet. The next thing I knew, I was looking down on myself lying on the table watching everyone work and talk around me. They were complaining about how bad the driving conditions were on the frosty roads.

I thought this is pretty boring and I started upwards. Then I saw me. I am a little ball of golden light about the same size as a golf ball. I'm still me. I think the same in my head or my own voice in my head is still the same ~ I'm still me. All my memories are intact; everything about me is still the same. This is a big revelation and surprise to me even today, 31 years later. But I was leaving the room now and the next thing I saw was when I was looking down at the Hospital grounds.

The white frost coated all the bare tree limbs and glistened in the moonlight. It was very, very beautiful. I have no recollection of actually deciding to move but I was being drawn upwards. Then I saw the east coast of Australia. It was funny to see because it looks just like it does on the map. Especially the NSW-Qld border. It follows the Tweed river to the coast.  But I was still being drawn upwards. Something was wrong though because I shouldn't have been on my own. I don't know why I felt this; just that I did. Then I saw the world way, way below me. It was stunningly beautiful. The clarity with which this was shown to me was spectacular.

Then I came into peace. Peace is yellow, totally absorbing and all loving. All I felt was love, acceptance, kindness, peace and belonging. The love was so peaceful, all absorbing and oh, so unbelievably loving. I felt that I was home. Somewhere that I was supposed to be.

Then a voice said "Go back Jan" and I said "I don't want to go back"

"Go back Jan, I'm not ready for you" and there ended that conversation.

The next thing I knew was my Husband saying to me "We have a beautiful little daughter".  And she was and is but that's another part of my life.

I have remembered this life-enriching event every day since 2nd August 1976.  I have shared the event many times with my Mother when she was dying slowly from cancer. I shared it with my Father when he was dying and I know they both departed earth knowing that something far better was waiting for them.

The only words I have ever found to come remotely close to describing my experience, is the words from the Anglican service: "The peace and love of God that passes all understanding, Keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and Love of Jesus Christ."

(c) J Smith 2007  BUT Please send this information to anyone you know who needs it: www.bible-by-audio.com 

 Biblical Manna? 

Manna is mentioned many times in the Bible. What is it and does it still exist today?

I don't know what the Scientific explaination is, but I do know it exists today. Perhaps it's not the same as it was in biblical times, but it is still given to us when we need it most. In fact, I have had some in a special place since my Mum died in 1987. Here in Australia, there is a certain type of gum-tree that exudes it from time to time. What causes it, I don't know. What does it taste like? Manna from heaven ~ very sweet.

How did I come by my little store of it?

When Mum was in the Hospital for the last time and we all knew her time was close, she sent us all out of the room saying we all had to have a walk and some fresh air. The Nurse was with her and wanted to make her more comfortable so we did as we were told.

While we all went for a walk around the hospital grounds, my Father, my two brothers and myself. We were just strolling around and we walked under this big gum tree. I looked down at the ground and the Manna was lying thickly at my feet.

I couldn't believe it! I hadn't noticed it before I looked down at my feet, but there it was. Thick, wet and white on the ground everywhere just under the tree with us.

 When we were kids, my Brothers and I found it pretty regularly but that was 30-odd years before and never so much in one place.  Still, once we got over our surprise, we became carefree kids again and ate it with gusto. Dad joined us too and we all marvelled because Dad had been on the land all his life and he hadn't seen it either for decades. Frankly, we all knew at the time it was a miracle and a precious gift. And we were very Thankful. It raised our spirits immeasurably and strengthened our spirits and our minds that God was with us all.

I picked up a big handful to take back to Mum. She wasn't able to eat much but she had a few nibbles and the rest I put in a spice jar that one of the amazed Nurses procured for me. It's still in that jar today.

We asked all our friends, neighbours and family who attended Mum's funeral, when was the last time they had seen any Manna. No one had seen any since the late 50's - early 60's. They were surprised too that we had found it at the Hospital grounds and some went back a few days later to find it but it had all disappeared.

What have I done with my little store? I wouldn't eat it now as it has turned an old browny colour but it heartens me whenever I get 'low'. It reminds me that God is still sustaining me.

Back in the 90's, one of my cabinetmakers lost his daughter in a car accident. He visited me one evening feeling very sad. I told him my personal stories of God and shared some Manna with him.

Once again, he too found comfort and energy to go on.

One day, no doubt, Scientists will know its latin name and origin if they don't already. But to me it was given at a time of great sadness and gratefully received.

(c) J Smith 2007

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